It’s Already Done

by Israel and New Breed

May the peace of God/calm your hearts and your minds/through the tears and the trials/the heartaches of this life

And when you can’t go on/know He holds you still/He will keep you/Never leave you/He promised that He will

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus/Just to take Him at His word/Just to rest upon His promise/And to know that if He said it

It’s already done

May the grace of God/Overshadow you/Through the chaos/The failures/The fire you’re walking through

And when you can’t go on/know He holds you still/He will keep you/Never leave you/He promised that He will

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus/Just to take Him at His word/Just to rest upon His promise/And to know that if He said it

It’s already done

His love endures/His Word is sure/Stand upon His promise/Stand upon His promise/Already done/This war is won/Stand upon His promise/Stand upon His promise

‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus/Just to take Him at His word/Just to rest upon His promise/And to know that if He said it

It’s already done

Advertisements

I’ve been hoping for things to get better, and have agonized my soul every day in doing so. The energy needed to hope for complete restoration was beginning to drain me and eventually I realise I can’t hope in circumstances or people but in the Lord only.

So how is it possible to hope in the Lord even though the circumstance is anything but ideal? For a start pray for the circumstance to improve, but as time goes by and it doesn’t seem to work, perhaps a shift in perspective will be helpful. Instead of dwelling on the circumstance to improve, dwell on the nature of our God who loves to heal and restore and give breakthroughs.

Jesus waited before raising Lazarus from the dead because He loved Mary and Martha. In waiting the glory of God can be fully made known to the people. Martha lost all hope, but when Jesus came, hope alight. Her hope was no longer in the circumstance but in the Lord, and with that hope in not how things are but in who Jesus is, Jesus performed the resurrection miracle that would change her life.

Maybe, what I need to do is stop dwelling on the circumstance and start dwelling on the goodness of God. By all means, pray for restoration and healing, but don’t let that be the main focus of my life. Perhaps what I need to do is stop extracting every drop of joy left in the restoration to come and start drawing and drawing a rushing torrent of joy from the Lord. Isn’t that the whole point of the Year of Abundant Joy—to find joy in the Lord no matter the circumstance?

And perhaps from today on that will be my game plan. When He restores, He restores. But I’m going to shift my focus from His restoration to His person as restorer. I’m going to focus on every good thing He has given me in these 6 years of following Him, and trust Him to be faithful to His promise, whenever it happens.

—Joel Kindiak, 8 Oct 17, 0818H

Start Living

It’s time I started living. This life with Jesus as my BFF means that I can live an abundantly joyful life. This joy doesn’t depend on the people God places in my life but on Him, and if my sole source of joy is Him, He will bless the rest. I don’t need to hold friendships tightly, but freely with grace. I don’t need to strive, I just need to rest. With God as my friend, all things will work together for my good. Nothing can separate His love from me ever again.

It’s time to start living.

—Joel Kindiak, 6 Oct 17, 1729H

I Really Am Loved

You know you are loved when that person has seen every side of you—good, bad and ugly—and still chooses to love you anyway.

These few months really brought out the worst in me. The doubts that linger amidst bold declarations of faith. The timidness covered by much confidence in my actions. What I really feel in spite of what my daily verses write.

And through it all, the one whom I probably raged at and hurt the most wasn’t even the people involved but God Himself. I’ve unleashed the worst of me at God over and over and over again, accusing Him unfaithful of what He promises, blaming Him of being unreliable and deeming Him untrustworthy.

These months have been nothing but a spiritual and emotional rollercoaster, a journey which I fear sharing to with too many people. I’ve hoped and been hurt over and over again, and I took this hurt out on God. I don’t know how I will feel tomorrow, but pray that God will be faithful to empower me to guard my heart and mind.

Which leads me back to the important point that God’s love never fails. That’s not a “benefit” in that it’s possible, but that it is guaranteed. If the love we have is from God, it cannot fail. Which implies that if it does fail, it wasn’t from God. It was a source outside of God which let me down.

I’ve been drawing love from objects other than God for a very long time.

That ends today. Before I pray for any other restoration, I want restoration in my relationship with God. Without this restoration, no other restoration matters. The other restorations will only matter if this relationship with God Himself is mended.

I will continue reading His Word to know what is His heart’s desire for me. I will continue praying—both ‘normally’ and ‘intercessorily’, because I want to tell God my heart’s desire and that the prayers of a righteous man avail much. I want to see God work in the lives of my loved ones just as He works in mine.

I know that God loves me, because He saw everything about me—good, bad and ugly—and still loves me and chose to go to the cross to die for me, that my relationship with Him may be restored.

May Your love and favor fill me up every day, that each day I may live for Your glory more than I do for my pleasure.

—Joel Kindiak, 5 Oct 17, 0713H

Shattered Vessel

I don’t even give myself the dignity of “broken”… “shattered” is more apt an adjective to describe the current state of my spirit.

My spirit has been shattered by the recent events. Thank God things are improving, but my spirit still remains in ruins. All the faith and grace I speak of in my daily verses, I find it difficult to make sense of in my own life.

I still believe God is real, but I can’t muster the faith to believe in extravagant things. I feel really let down by God, on why He would even allow this to happen, even though He is now restoring all things.

This healing clearly is going to take some time. I find it foolish to declare good when around me is anything but.

I need God to restore everything. I need a restored spirit. A restored faith. A restored hope in Him and love for Him. I need a reassurance of the magnitude of His love and grace. I need a spiritual revival.

May God take this shattered spirit and grow something beautiful out of it, though I have zero idea how that will look like. Please pray for the restoration of my spirit. Thanks.

—Joel Kindiak, 3 Oct 17, 1723H

Joy in Sorrow

I’ll keep this update a short one: when waiting for my miracle, and until then, I will continue to feel sorrowful about the delayed miracle. Yet, the joy kicks in when I know that my Jesus fulfills what He has promised, and I can look to Him for hope while I grieve. It’s the intermingling of hope and grief, the presence of joy in sorrow.

-Joel Kindiak, 29 Sept 17, 1633H

God’s Sovereignty Over My Struggle

The last week was a spiritual hell for me. This week may not be significantly better in terms of the practical outcome. Restoration has not been complete and I doubt it would be any time soon. Thoughts of loneliness and anxiety in my friendships crept in. Things are, honestly, looking bleak, and no particular person is to blame but myself.

In the midst of the struggle, last week, I chose to chicken out and totally doubt God. This week, I want to choose to have faith in the struggle, and not fall like last week.One crucial lesson to learn is that God is sovereign. The biggest issue I have is, if God is not just ultimately sovereign (as the logic will entail) but even so practically sovereign, what does that mean in my struggle? The flesh concludes it’s God’s will for me to suffer, and thus totally contradicts the God of love. The spirit revealed to me that precisely because God is practically sovereign, this struggle does not have the last word on my struggle. God does.

The struggle is, simply put, trusting anyone with my struggles. Apart from God, I cannot find a single person to share my struggle with. Not my parents, not my life group, and not even my friend who stuck by me last week (he has many more important and urgent issues by his other friends to settle, on top of the stress induced by A-levels). The close friends I once had have been affected by my past mistakes, and in practice I’m alone.

It feels like all these years went down the drain. In the area of friendships, I don’t feel like I’ve been liberated. It’s been a long struggle and it doesn’t look like it’ll end any time soon.

And in the midst of this I will confess that God is sovereign. This defeat is not the final word. God will restore, according to His Word. Precisely because God is sovereign I can be assured that things will get better, sooner or later. I will continue to pray for a restored spirit, and for restored friendships. I will pray for renewed trust in people, and the favor to edify them in the midst of my struggle.

This week’s struggle will be different from last week’s. This struggle will be fought with faith. This struggle is not my battle but the Lord’s, and I will simply rest in Him. I will indulge in His Word. I will indulge in His presence. I will do nothing but find quality rest in Him. He fights, I rest. He is sovereign and I have absolutely nothing to worry about.

And because God is sovereign, this struggle is not ultimate. Healing and restoration is. This is the nature of my God: to heal and restore, exceedingly and abundantly more than I can ask or think. His heart isn’t to torture but to save.

Pray for me as this week goes by, thanks.

—Joel Kindiak, 27 Sept 17, 0906H