The Self-Pity Ends Today

All the free Sunday afternoons that end up spent lying on my bed questioning about life.

All the half days I get in Friday afternoons generally not well spent unless I make the first move.

All the time wasted throughout the day scrolling and refreshing through Instagram and not being productive.

It ends today.

From today on, I’m choosing to enjoy each break I get. I’ll enjoy each weekend to the fullest either with people or on my own. With the new task of preparing crash course material for O Levels, which include mainly algebra and functions and drills from other topics, one can see how easily I can spend my time. I’ve already quit Instagram since a few weeks back, am going great without it, and when I do return to it, plan to use it once per week only.

And I’ll stop comparing my life with others. Others might have more time supposedly well spent overseas, dramas, meetups and whatnots. Well, my life doesn’t have that many glitters, but that doesn’t mean I need to wallow in self-pity. My Instagram account may not be as active, but that doesn’t mean life needs to be uneventful. No. That false belief ends today.

I’m going to love myself because God first loved me, and I’m going to enjoy my weekends regardless of whether my loved ones are available or not. My life revolves around Christ first, then them. If they wanna meet during my unplanned free time (which my default means doing Math) then sure, I’m more than glad! 😁 BUT I don’t want my happiness to depend on my meetups with friends because I don’t wanna sulk at the lack thereof otherwise. I don’t want to be dependent on the likes I get on my Instagram stories but want to depend on the Lord’s story of my life. I wanna depend on the Lord for my joy.

I choose today to love myself and seize every opportunity either to hang with friends or do Math. My principles in cherishing one another extends to cherishing myself and the person God has made me to be. My meetups won’t end, but the dependence on them for my joy will. They end now. The self pity ends now.

—Joel Kindiak, 6 Dec 2016, 0013H


Author: joelkindiak

Build people up. Point them to Christ.

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