As of 24 June 2016, I have never been in a relationship. Yet, what I call an unofficial relationship, a ‘friendationship’ is what I’d like to talk about, not necessarily in any structure, purpose or order. Just wanted to put it out there to let y’all know a little bit of what I went through.
Firstly, what is a friendationship? It is when two people clearly have attraction for each other, and yet neither are wiling to officially ask the other to be their spouse. Friedationships usually last for less than a year or two, at least in the two that I’ve been through.
About seven years ago, I entered by first friendationship. This girl was quite popular, very approachable, and for some reason accepted my offer to play a chess game. In an over-simplification of the process, that began our friendationship. We went home and texted each other every day and grew close to one another. On some days I would purposely stay back late in school just to savour the forty-plus minutes of walking back home and thus spending time with her. This went well until we changed schools (the transition from Primary 6 to Secondary 1). I grew overly clingy that essentially scared her away from me. I decided to end this unhealthy friendationship on my 14th birthday, and it definitely took a long process of healing before I got better. It was through this, and many activities, that I was driven to a corner, only to be wholly saved by the unmerited favour of God.
Since then, I definitely grew closer to God and was more in line with his will for my life. In 2013, however, I got to know this petite, pretty girl in church, whom after some time we began texting every day as well. Our texting and interactions were a lot more healthy than my previous friendationship. I grew learn that it was okay to not reply immediately. This girl was amazing. She was incredibly interested in the things of God, something that I have a passion in. Week in week out, we would either have a mini Bible discussion or jam to contemporary worship classics. It was heartwarming and I actually thought this girl would be my girl. Unfortunately, as the year went by and the stresses became evident, she got distracted by worldly desires and temporary joys that set her eyes off Christ. I knew that began the end of our friendationship. Over time, our chats became more sporadic, and I was okay with that, until finally she dabbled in occult spiritual activity. I could not have fellowship with her even if I wanted to. Eventually God helped me get over her and believe that He will take care of her better than I ever will, and that if she was amazing, and she was, my wife would exceed her in glory.
Today I’m glad that both of them at the very least appear to love God and serve Him wholeheartedly.
At this stage in my life, I make interactions with many girls, always remembering to guard my heart. My bro Shun and I are keeping each other accountable, turning our eyes to Jesus alone. The friends I make I will rely on God to keep my heart in check, so that I may edify them and not stumble them.
May my final friendationship in the near future evolve into an actual relationship and a union in the will of God. Till then, I shall enjoy singleness with God in all of its glory.